Talking about divorce with your spouse can be very difficult. If you are lucky, you both may be in the same place emotionally about the end of your marriage. Utilizing the services of a marriage counselor can be very helpful. But in many cases divorce is the last subject you may want to bring up with your spouse. However, if you never find a way to have the discussion, you could find yourself in the middle of an adversarial process over which you and your spouse have little or no control. If what you’re hoping for is a Collaborative Divorce in which your needs and goals are considered and respected, letting your spouse know about the possibility of this non-adversarial approach is crucial. So how do you do it?
If you and your spouse still have open lines of communication, provide your spouse with articles he or she can read, and website addresses to visit. Your attorney can provide you with educational materials to share about Collaborative Divorce.
If you and your spouse have difficulty communicating, or if you feel that anything coming from you won’t be given much credence, enlist friends or relatives or counselors to present information about Collaborative Divorce to your spouse. Perhaps you have mutual friends who have experienced Collaborative Divorce who would share their good experiences with it to your spouse. They might get a friendly reception to information that, if you presented it, might be viewed with suspicion.
Your attorney might have information that could be mailed to your spouse, along with an invitation to consider Collaborative Divorce. You’re the best judge as to whether this approach might be successful with your spouse.